by Molly Carpenter
It should be clear to everyone why most not-evil people (and even some evil people) want to jump Harry Dresden’s bones, however the wizard himself seems oblivious to these details. To that end, this analysis has been composed with input from a variety of sources. The aim of this study is to expose what it is about Harry Dresden that is, apparently, irresistible to persons interested in the male gender. As Karrin Murphy, formerly of the CPD and currently of the Brighter Future Society and the Chicago Alliance, stated so aptly, “Harry’s a big oaf with a good heart who likes to pretend he can’t understand why people think he’s sexy.” With these wise words in mind, we shall first hear from Dresden’s close friends, followed by strangers who can all offer insight into the basis of his perceived sex appeal.
Thomas Raith, Dresden’s half-brother, said of the wizard, “Having lived with him for years, I can easily say, he is a huge dork but it’s in a very adorable way, and when he’s acting all dark and brooding or focusing on his magic or something of the sort… People are into that whole shtick. The brooding and the intensity, it’s sexy. Especially if underneath all that they’re just a huge dork.” Raith, of course, is an expert in sex appeal, not just because he’s sexy himself, but because as a White Court Vampire, it is part of his nature to seek out sexual energy. As such, who better to identify the very nature of Dresden’s sex appeal?
Another expert in the matter is Raith’s paramore, Justine. Seriously. This couple goes down in history as not only being in mutual True Love, but they’re both hot so eat your hearts out Disney princesses. In any case, of Harry, Justine said, “… He has a wonderful smile. He gives great hugs and is an awesome movie-time snuggler. He also has a great ass.” Justine is also the resident expert in great asses so, I think I rest my case.
Even Bob the Skull, a spirit of intellect and avid romance novel fan, had ten cents to put in, “Chicks dig power… you gotta consider he’s got enough raw power for someone his age, he freaks out a lot of the White Council. Tack onto that the whole Winter Knight thing he’s got going now… Power.”
But if this wasn’t evidence enough, even strangers on the street were willing to offer their opinions on Dresden in the name of science:
He is sexy cause he has that “Rugged Crazy” look to him :) ~ Anonymous
He is Sexy cause he has a good heart and looks out for others. ~ Anonymous
Have you seen the size of that staff? And how much power he can put into it? Dayum sexy ~Anonymous
He gives off a bit of a bad boy vibe sometimes but when you get right down to it he’s a good man and there’s nothing women (and me) like more than a bad boy who’s a good man. ~ Anonymous
He is smart and good with his hands. Plus he is pretty sweet. What more could you ask for? ~Anonymous
He makes my heart go doki doki. ~Anonymous
What CANT you say about Harry Dresden that makes him Sexy? He is clever to an extreme! Always thinking of clever ways to defeat the bad guys! like how he captured the Loup-Garu. Or how strong he is! I mean he flipped a car with WIND MAGIC! Harry Dresden is sexy for so many reasons! ~Anonymous
In conclusion, like Murphy said, Harry’s an idiot and everyone agrees he’s sexy.